OK, i’m probably stretching the limits of what constitutes “beat appropriate,” but, fuck you, it’s my blog.

And we do have the RZA behind the boards for this one.  Throw in some Black Keys for good measure (clearly not beat, but, goddamn, if they’re not best grungy garage blues slop band on the planet, i don’t know who is).

And then mix in kung-fu goodness on an epic scale.  Forget about Django Unchained, The Man with the Iron Fists is the Tarantino flick that is making me turgid.

Yes, yes, yes, i know.  i’m a terrible blogger for leaving my legions of fans (two is a legion, right?) with so little content over the past month or so.  i also beat my woman ’til i get satisfied, drink out of the carton, wear age-inappropriate clothes and regularly attend Nickelback fan club meetings.  i’m a bad, bad man.  But you’ll forgive me, right?  How about if i share the latest from OB superhero beathead Pogo and his take on what i consider the greatest movie of my generation?  No?  Alright, i’ll let you touch me there, but don’t tell anybody.  i can’t have everybody in the Interwebs hitting me up, after all.

Gather round, children, as today we read from the Book of Funk, verse one (because as Dogfather George taught us, it’s always on the one).  “And lo, from the north there came DEAD HORSE BEATS, a beathead with a love for gospel.”  Built over the course of eight months, the artists also known as Patrick Wade’s latest, Vespers, contains 53 samples of gospel, found sound, soul and funk put together with added banjo, guitar, harmonica, synths, organs and ambient recorded stuff where DHB thought it would benefit the sound.  Somebody get this man a job in HR, as he clearly knows all about benefits.  Not to beat a dead horse, but if i’ve said it once, this will make it twice:  it’s all about the source material, kids.  DHB lovingly takes a distinct genre and bends it to his will, transforming and creating something distinctly non-gospel whilestill retaining all sorts of spirituality.  This is becoming his hallmark, as an earlier project focused on 1940s/WWII-era swing music proves.  Stick with it, sir.  Now if only i could talk him into a 1980s beatbox exclusive special…

mp3: I’ll Take Jesus for Mine (DEAD HORSE BEATS from Vespers)

mp3: Walk with Me (DEAD HORSE BEATS from Vespers)

Imagine Pogo on a shitload stronger weed and/or dirtier acid, and you’ll probably end up with a pretty good aural idea of what Jonwayne’s latest sounds like.  i mean, the title pretty much says it all, no?  Composed entirely in one sitting on May 28, the WeDidIt Collective All-Star used “an SP-404 SX, an iPad used to access Youtube videos, and a Zoom H2 to bounce sounds to,” all for this deranged beat beast.  You know how much i love beat music comprised entirely of questionably legal children’s movie source material.  Add this one to the “favorites” folder.

mp3: Alice in Wonderland (Jonwayne from Jonwayne Fucks Disney)

mp3: Peter Pan (Jonwayne from Jonwayne Fucks Disney)

Longtime friend Alphabets Heaven is back with the mighty Boosh.  Sadly, it isn’t a loving tribute to Noel and Julian.  Excellently, it’s a glitchy slow ride that edges just far enough onto the dance floor to have something for beatheads of all sorts.  With some additional remix help towards the end from the likes of Robot Koch, Headshotboyz and wArkawArka, this beast deserves best in class accolades.  These are not your frat brother’s dubby beats, thank the Maker.  AH continues to perfect his brand of crowd friendly beats perfectly suited for crowds of one, keeping with the robotic, but infusing a level of humanity and personality not seen nearly enough ’round these parts.  Whether you’re rocking the ‘phones on the subway on the way to class or looking for perfect after hours pseudo-chill music that still has enough punch to keep your intimate group discussions on alternate universes lively, AH has you covered.

Alphabets Heaven – Deartentonine from King Deluxe on Vimeo.

mp3: Deartentonine (Alphabet’s Heaven from Boosh)

When you come out of the box with Sexual Chocolate, i’m going to assume you’re not fucking around.  On Used Vinyl Review, Us Natives live up to the expectation.  Comprised of Ill Clinton and John E. Cab, the dynamic duo show off deep crates and a deeper understanding of what makes for good beats.  There’s an almost Madvillain sense of haphazard clarity, a little R&B vocals here, some jazz horns there, sweeping  string arrangements in the corner, and weird shit all over the place.  Whereas a lot of beat projects are best taken in small, single doses, Used Vinyl Review plays well as an entire, straight-through listening experience.  While the tempos ebb, the flow never does.  Us Natives demonstrate an uncanny ability to paint emotionally resonating jams, and i don’t just mean your big, easy ones, like “joyous” or “sad,” but deep shit, like “solipsistic” and “introspective” and “nicely baked, thanks for asking.”  Tracks drip into one another like rain on a window pane, crossing into and out of one another’s way, continuing an album long ride that detours at multiple stops along the way.  As luck would have it, the point here is the journey.

mp3: So Lovely (Us Natives from Used Vinyl Review)

mp3: Gladiators (Us Natives from Used Vinyl Review)

Hello, is this thing on?  Is there anybody left out there?

Yes, yes, i know.  It’s been a long time.  I shouldn’t have left you without a dope beat to step to.

Truth of the matter is, i was growing a bit burnt out on blogging and needed a bit of a respite.  So, a long family vacation, a couple of work trips, some meaningful car rides and a bit of cosmic surfing on the intergalactic waves of funkmanship later, i’m back.  To be blunt, blogging more of less for five years straight for various different folks is both ultimately rewarding and pretty goddamn hard.  Ask any longtime blogger, and they’ll tell you that content is king.  The problem with music blogging is the amount of music one must listen to just to have enough to write about on a daily basis.  Think about it–i get up to a dozen CDs a day.  Just deciding which ones i want to listen to (typically by virtue of small samples from the albums or bribery in the form of nudes of someone in the band’s ex-girlfriend) can take up an hour a day just by itself.  And then there’s listening to the full albums themselves. It gets to the point where one is only listening to stuff for one’s blog, which is all good and well, but it hardly gives the writer time to listen to much else.  Of course, i love beat music, but i also listen to damn near everything else under the sun when i can.  It’s a point of “when i can.”  Throw in a wife and a one-year-old, and you should begin to see from whence that burnout was originating.

i figure the best way to get our groove going again is to ease back into things, no?  With that in mind, i can think of no better offering than The Chill/Funk Trip by Made of Wood.  The name pretty much says it all, kids.  These jazzed up grooves are in no rush, but will get your booty there and back nonetheless.  These laid back tracks are a combo of improvisation and electronic elements- many of which come from sampling and alterations of his own performances. You should be able to hear trace elements of his heroes in Air, Funkadelic and The Cinematic Orchestra.  My instructions are to download, spark something, hit play and repeat as necessary.

mp3: Electric Funk Freak for Addy (Made of Wood from The Chill/Funk Trip)

mp3: Your Blown Future (Made of Wood from The Chill/Funk Trip)

As if you couldn’t already tell by yourself, i’m taking a self-imposed hiatus while i’m up to my eyeballs in alligators at work.  Fortunately, i have a huge Disney vacation with the fam starting tomorrow which has the added double geek punch of incorporating Star Wars Weekends into the mix, as well.  Once i’m back and settled, i’m sure we’ll return to our regularly scheduled beats.

In the interim, i would be remiss if Odd Bloggings didn’t offer up a moment of music (we don’t deal with silence ’round these parts) for the 22nd anniversary of the passing of Jim Henson.  You can go elsewhere for memorials (this one always chokes me up), but never let it be said our geekdom doesn’t lead down a Muppeted path.

And what better beat tribute to talented genius than Him Jenson by Durlin Lurt, arguably the most slept upon beat masterpiece of all time!  ‘Cuz, you know, we eschew hyperbole ’round these parts, too.  26 tracks for each letter of the alphabet, comprised entirely of Jim Henson samples.

mp3: Llamas (feat. Tone Live, Decay, & Selfish) (Durlin Lurt from Him Jeson)

mp3: Magic (Durlin Lurt from Him Jenson)

By now, you surely already have heard that Beastie Boy MCA aka Adam Yauch passed away this past Friday, May 4, 2012, after a long battle with cancer.  This would be a pretty shitty beat blog if we didn’t pause for the man with the beard like a billy goat.  The Beasties will go down in history as legends in hip-hop, and, for our purposes, as some of the greatest innovators of the sample game.  Hell, Paul’s Boutique alone contains more samples than probably any dozen rap records that would be released today, thanks to a somewhat more liberal scene back in the day (or simply because the labels hadn’t figured out how to start suing samplers yet; either/or).  i remember sitting on the front steps of my grade school, oversized boom box in hand, spitting the lyrics to “Paul Revere” at top volume alongside my best friends.  While my group got into hip-hop pretty early (how many other 10 year olds were rocking out to BDP’s Criminal Minded when it came out, i couldn’t tell you, but i doubt we were many), it was the Beasties that brought hip hop to most white suburban kids, for better or worse.  i was fortunate enough to catch the group live a couple of times, once during their infamous ‘94 Lolapalooza run and again when they were touring To the 5 Boroughs.  i’ve long held a sad theory that once an artist hits a certain age, s/he seems unable to produce music that still speaks to the masses.  MCA and the Beastie Boys kept proving that idea wrong, and for this, among countless other reasons, you shall be missed, Adam.

mp3: RIP Adam Yauch (Aka MCA of the Beastie Boys) (Mochipet from his Soundcloud)

Realizing it was May the Fourth, a high holy day for Star Wars geeks like myself, i knew today’s post was going to have to be on topic.  i assumed i’d have at least one submission from a galaxy far, far away, but i quickly found the lack of such beats in my inbox disturbing.  An 18-parsec perusal of Band Camp quickly gave way to the answer to our prayers, however, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced when they saw that some of our absolute favorite purveyors of plunderphonics brought us Far Far Away on this particular May the Fourth of 2012.  How this hasn’t blown up on geek sites all over the place is beyond me, but their loss is our nerdish, beat-driven gain, kids.

May the Fourth be with you.  Always.

mp3: Yoda Yodel (Pogo from Far Far Away)

mp3: I Know… (P.SUS from Far Far Away)