Greatest Mix You Will Ever Hear Series: Bizarre Comic Book Songs

LET fave and friend ekko over at the always wonderful Berkeley Place was bitching and moaning, er, mentioning the sad, sad fact that bloggers seldom seem to show love to one another anymore. As the LET crew still is waiting to celebrate its second birthday in about a month, we can’t really say how things were “back in the good, old days,” but we certainly can agree with the sentiment that we could all use a little bit more love in our lives, so today is all about BP. Well, maybe, but kind-of, sort-of, in a not really kind of way.

For those of you not in the know, BP focuses on a bit of this and a bit of that, but the two primary “functions” of his wonderful blog are music and comic books. Clearly, a man after my own heart. Perhaps foolishly of him, ekko even has me write the occasional piece for him. Speaking of which, assuming you read this, ekko, i swear to Kitty Pryde’s corpse that I’m going to finish that X-Men piece as soon as humanly possible.

Any which way but loose, today we “officially” are starting a new feature here at LET, The Greatest ____ Mix You Will Ever Hear” series. You’ve already got most of the zombie triumvirate and you tasted the beauty of that which is the finest in breakfast raps, but today’s launch is in tribute to the Wise and Sagacious ekko. May I present to you, the Greatest Bizarre Comic Book Songs Mix You Will Ever Hear. Pay no attention to the fact that most of these tracks probably came from BP in the first place; I’M the Mixmaster here, and that’s all you need to worry about regarding that.

You’re going to notice inclusion of folks that correctly character name drop in their songs. This would be one such example. What’s more, and my geeks out there can back me up here, every single comic book guy out there has had this conversation at least once with at least one loved one.

I believe I found this one on some “uber-obscure songs that never should have been made” website. Either that, or this was used in someone’s trial to prove psychopathic tendencies were, in fact, a mitigating circumstance and I copied it from Court TV. What we have hear is the one and only Burt Ward of “…& Robin” fame reading fan letters he’s received. Could be the most creepy, inappropriate thing ever set to wax. Oh, and who’s that backing band, you ask? Goddamn Mothers of Invention. I shit you not.

mp3: Spiderman (Tenacious D from a live show; if I had to guess, I say it was from a Largo show, but that’s because EVERYTHING from their early career seems to come from a Largo show)

I’ve seen the D do this song live once or twice, so let me see if I can set the stage appropriately. Kyle and Jack start out doing a straight cover of the old cartoon theme song before a guy comes out dressed in a Sasquatch costume. At this point, things devolve into a sort of improv gross-out comedy fest that cracks me up every time I hear it. Essentially, JB simply describes what’s happening on-stage. I am fairly confident this is the only song on the planet that discusses chodas and Bigfoot in the same verse.

ekko is one of the few cats out there that seems to like Metal Face as much, if not more, than i do. Beyond the fact that Doom’s entire persona is based on the Fantastic Four’s premier villain, he often samples old FF records from the 60s and 70s into his music, clearly making him a perfect addition to this list. While you have to wait for the end of the track for the FF record sample, you should notice immediately that, yes, this motherfucker sampled Sesame Street as the back beat for the entire track. GENIUS, I tell you!

Sure, having an orchestra and full choir substitute “pig” for “man” in the classic theme song would be enough for inclusion here. More importantly, i’d like to say we’re the first and only mp3 blog out there today with multiple Hans Zimmer posts. LET Rules, bitches!

Alright, I’ll be the first to admit I’m really stretching it on this one, but there is a full verse about Superman losing in a DJ battle, so there’s list placement justification right there. To be honest, though, I just freaking love this song and wanted to put it in here. Don’t question the Mixmaster, son, just go with it.

mp3: Who’s a Hero? (MF Doom & Trunks from Unicron)
Between these two tracks, damn near every major comic book character from the past three or more decades is mentioned. Major props for these cats even knowing all these names, yet alone for their ability to actually make raps out of that knowledge. Geek, geek, yo!

The one true “comedy” inclusion in the bunch, I’ve seen Stephen live a couple of times now, and this one always is a crowd pleaser. For the part of the show where he asks the audience to shout out names of potential superheros, the last time I saw him someone yelled out “Bukake Boy!” You can’t make this stuff up, folks. Well, I suppose you could, but why bother?
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2 thoughts on “Greatest Mix You Will Ever Hear Series: Bizarre Comic Book Songs

  1. Followed the link from Berkeley Places blog "Stop Talking About Comics" and the Stephen Lynch "Superhero" bit were well worth the visit. I liked "Jam on It" too (although I missed the part about Superman missing a D.J. battle), have to listen to that again….

  2. Allow me to elucidate, FD:

    And if you go deep, I'll cruise down for real
    Let me tell what happened to the man of steel

    (Said Superman had come to town to see who he could rock)
    (He blew away every crew he faced until he reached our block)
    (His speakers were three stories high with woofers made of steel)
    (And when we boys sit outside, he said "I boom for real")
    He said, "I'm faster than a speedin' bullet when I'm on the set
    I don't need no fans to cool my ass, I just use my super breath
    I could fly three times around the world without missin' a beat
    I socialize with X-ray eyes, and ladies think it's sweet
    (And then he turned his power on and the ground began to move)
    (And all the buildings for miles around were swayin' to the groove)
    (And just when he had fooled the crowd and swore he won the fight)
    We rocked his boat with a 12 inch cut called Disco Kryptonite
    Well, Superman looked up at me, he said, "You rock so naturally"
    I said now that you've learned the deal, let me tell you why I'm so for real
    I'm Cozmo D from outer space, I came to rock the human race
    I do it right ?cause I can't do it wrong
    That's why the whole world is singin' this song

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