The Greatest Getting Ready To Buy A House Mix You Will Ever Hear

(Ed. note: i actually wrote this entire thing yesterday afternoon, but thought i’d have time to post it last night since i hadn’t finished the links. Guess i was wrong on that one. Oops.)

OK, kids, i’m going to put together a bid to purchase a house in a couple of hours, so that’s obviously going to reflect in this here post o’ mine. C’mon, you know how things work ’round these parts by now, don’t you? If not, you may really want to rethink majoring in Terrible Chrisology. Sure, the lab work seemed light at first glance, but you knew the readings were going to be killer. Plus, who could have guessed that all that nude modeling was required? What’s really disappointing, though, is that your parents honestly believed this was going to be the semester you finally graduated. And now you’ve let them down again. i hope you are satisfied. Ass hat.

Changing topics completely, anyone out there a Gabriel Garcia Marquez fan? Specifically, have you read The Trail of Your Blood in the Snow? i cut my cuticle nearly seven hours ago, and the damn thing is still bleeding. That can’t be good, can it?

Now back to the Greatest Getting Ready To Buy A House Mix You Will Ever Hear…

The Missus probably will disagree, but one of the things i’m most looking forward to regarding buying a new house is the opportunity it will allow me to have a room dedicated entirely to ninjas. While i may or may not be kidding, was your immediate reaction that such a room was incredibly cool or patently lame? Factor your geekdom quotient accordingly. One million bonus points if you’re female and went with the former.

Who doesn’t want their home to be a metaphor for illicit sex? Nobody. Not even your grandfather. While that’s probably not the actual metaphor that Zero 7 was shooting for on this track, i stand by my initial statement.

Good advice is good advice.

This is going to be the third house we’ve tried to purchase (first one, the preggers wife of the selling couple went hormonal and decided she didn’t want to sell after all; second one, guy didn’t like our bid, which was his problem, as he was approximately $100K overpriced; and now this one). Of course, we’ve already sold the place we live in and have to move out in a few weeks, meaning it’s either moving into the Ps’ basement or out on the streets if this bid doesn’t happen.

As long as it doesn’t go as bad as this, though, i’m sure we’ll be fine.

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