The Greatest Zombie Mixtape You Will Ever Hear

Here at LET, we abhor hyperbole, so you know that what you’re about to sample is, in fact, The Greatest Zombie Mixtape You Will Ever Hear. Forsooth, even.

Now, I’ve actually been debating on when to post this bad boy. Are you ready to handle an undead mix of such proportions as to change the very parameters of your mind? Is it fair for me to alter reality as you know it? Halloween still is a few weeks off. Should I wait until closer to the actual date for to unleash this horrifying masterpiece? As a friend of mine pointed out, though, this is the High Holy Month, so the more time you have to listen in preparation of All Hallows’ Even, probably the better for you. Plus, I still feel bad about not getting more posts up while I was on the road, so I figured I’d bring you this little treat today.

First, a little back story. My wife’s best friend (and my good friend, too, of course), Dex, is one of the most intelligent women I know. She’s a top notch computer nerd and is a problem solver of the Nth degree. And yet, she does have one peculiarity amongst her many talents–she’s deathly afraid of zombies. Now, I don’t mean she doesn’t like zombie movies, I mean she’s literally worried about a world overrun by necrotic ghouls lusting after brains. Now, I’m petrified of sharks myself (which makes us an excellent match, actually, but more on that in a bit), so who am I to talk about irrational fears? I didn’t realize the true depths of Dexy’s concerns, however, until my bride told me to stop sending her BFF daily zombie clips from YouTube because it was really bothering her. Imagine my disappointment then, when I compiled this, The Greatest Zombie Mixtape You Will Ever Hear, for Dex’s wedding and was told there was no way in hell I was allowed to give it to her as a gift.

Well, kids, her loss is your gain, as you are about to find out.

Without further ado, The Greatest Zombie Mixtape You Will Ever Hear.

mp3: Wild Zero (Guitar Wolf from the Wild Zero Soundtrack)

When people speak of the best zombie movies of all time, the discussion quickly turns to the works of Romero. The more contemporary might point out Shaun of the Dead. Well, they’re all completely wrong. The greatest zombie movie of all time is, hands down, Wild Zero. I won’t go into too much detail, but you’ve got zombies, Guitar Wolf, guitars that turn into samurai swords and a transvestite surprise that makes The Crying Game look tame by comparison. Now THAT’S movie making, people. I will admit, however, that Versus (it’s about zombies AND ninjas!!!) is a very close second. God bless low budget Asian movies.
mp3: Zombie Killer (Leslie Hall from CeWEBrity)

At first listen, this track seems appropriate, but nothing too spectacular. It’s about destroying the undead, but what’s so big about that? That’s where the guest vocals become important. No, children, your ears do not deceive you. That’s ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE NIGHT! That ups the cool factor by one gagillion by pretty much any measure.

mp3: Zombie Girl (The Terrordactyls from The Terrordactyls)

A twee love song for your undead gal. Plus, I love kazoos. And who doesn’t? Nobody. Not even your grandfather.

mp3: Zombie Jamboree (Banjo Kate from Nice Day for a Walk in the Park; sorry, couldn’t find a purchase link for this one)

First off, the artist’s name is Banjo Kate. If your mix doesn’t have someone with a name like that in it, it’s probably a sub-par effort. I’m just saying. Furthermore, it kind of has a “Teddy Bear’s Picnic” feel to it, and the idea of shambling, animated corpses feasting on teddy bears makes me smile.

OK, this one is just kitsch-y and sounds like a good Dr. Demento submission. But those zombie noises that kick off the track are worth the price of admission on their own.

mp3: Zombie (Nellie McKay from Obligatory Villagers)

I’ve had a thing for Ms. McKay since her debut CD and have seen her live a few times (including her run in Three Penny Opera; the less said about that, though, probably the better). While I haven’t loved her newer stuff quite as much, this track is a fave of mine. The monster noises she supplies are pretty kick ass.

mp3: Zombie Prostitute (Voltaire from Ooky Spooky)

The title pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? An entire song dedicated to bad “sex with zombie” puns. Seriously, I’m pretty sure this is what Shakespeare truly aspired towards.

While I could argue the mix simply needed an industrial breakbeat inclusion to round out the full sound, I’m going to stick with the fact that it comes from an album entitled Necrobestial Sadobreaks. ‘Nuff said.

Obviously we had to have something from Rob, and I went with this one.

mp3: Zombie Song (The Besties from Singer)

Zombie love songs make me smile.

mp3: Zombie Boy (The Magnetic Fields from Distortion)

I’m a Gen X-er. It’s in our contract to include The Magnetic Fields in every mix we ever make.

If the Raveonettes were more interested in the undead, they’d probably sound something like this. Plus, the song AND the band have “Zombie” in their name, so this is like a two-fer. Also, it raises interesting religious questions you might want to consider the next time you’re really high.

This song interests me particularly because I can’t envision zombies doing the Watusi without losing what remaining body parts they still might have.

It’s important for a good mix to have a dance song with literal instructions on how to do said dance in the lyrics. You know, so you’ll look cool doing it at the next Halloween party. Or something.

There’s an earnestness to this song that is totally out of left field. But you know what? I know have little doubt that Elf Power actually did walk with a zombie last night.

mp3: Rock ‘n Roll Zombie (Erazerhead from Apeman)

In case the last few tracks were making you complacent, you’ve got to have an injection of loud, pointless screaming.

mp3: Zombie Hop (Zombina & the Skeletones from Mondo Zombina!)

If this band was going to go to the effort of basing their entire identity on zombie mythos, of course, I had to add it to this mix.

mp3: Taco Party (1-800-ZOMBIE from Holy Shit!)

OK, the only zombie link here is the band’s name, but this spazz fest apparently about cunnilingus was necessary for all of our souls.

The title alone ensures its inclusion.

mp3: Zombie (The Cranberries from No Need to Argue)

In college, we used to substitute the “bombs” refrain with “bongs.” Come to think of it, we smoked a lot of pot in college.
mp3: Zombie (Fela Kuti from Zombie)
It seems very few zombie songs actually are about zombies, and this one leads that list. Still one hell of a jam, though.

mp3: Zombies (The King Khan & BBQ Show from What’s for Dinner?)

If you haven’t seen King Khan live yet, well, you’re concert going experiences are incomplete. Here he is with one of his other outfits.

If I didn’t include The Zombies on The Greatest Zombie Mixtape You Will Ever Hear, well, I would have been lying about the title now, wouldn’t I?

Lest you grow concerned there wasn’t anything new here, here’s the first single from Ryan Gosling’s new band. The children’s chorus alone is worth the price of admission.

Remember my mentioning the shark/zombie connection earlier?

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9 thoughts on “The Greatest Zombie Mixtape You Will Ever Hear

  1. Muhahahaha. Not only is the largest and most awesome mix of Zombie songs that I've come across, but your intro story served to make this post one of my favorites. Thanks for sharing and it sucks that you could've give this to Dex. Peace till next.

  2. Thanks for the kind words, folks. Let's be honest with ourselves–only posers dig vampires anyway. Zombies are where all the cool kids are at these days.

    For all Dex's concerns, i neglected to mention she probably has the most comprehensive zombie survival plan outside of The Zombie Survival Guide, so when the undead do eventually rise, she's going to be the one laughing.

    i had the Cramps on this originally, but the mp3 i had was poo poo quality.

    i want to say i've heard the Chrome track, but can't recall why it didn't make the cut.

    Of course, now we have the basis for next year's Greatest Zombie Mix Update You've Ever Heard post.

  3. This is the kind of information the world needs, people. Zombiecore? Why the fuck wasn't i informed of this development until now?

    Speaking of which, i shall be compiling the next installment of the Great Zombie Mixtape Etc. for the upcoming Halloween season, kids, so we've got that going for us. Which is nice.

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